Anywhere we go, we are going to be surrounded by Toxic men. Then, it can start from our own home to society and then the office. You can not have a club of like-minded people all time.
The Toxic men you face around do impact you negatively on your emotions and affect your ability to think correctively and the ability to make the right decisions. In a nutshell, they create a negative environment and thereby make you stressed, so that you are low emotionally. These low emotions reduce your self-confidence and break you from inside.
So, there are 2 things important in dealing with Toxic men.
- How do we identify the Toxic men and,
- How intelligent women need to handle these men without falling prey to the stress they create and without losing focus on life objectives.
All right? So here we go.
How to identify Toxic men around you:
- These are the men who will not get happy to see your happiness. These will criticize you to hide their emotional insecurity. This will make you low on confidence and make you feel insecure.
- Will leave no stone unturned to hurt you in some or the other way. Will try to use your weakness against you. Might abuse you emotionally and sometimes get violent as well.
- If you are a working woman, these may have a problem with you going out for work to support the betterment of the future of children and family. These might raise fingers on your motherhood qualities also.
- These are normally losers and can not see your success. These will hardly respect your education, the efforts you took so far to reach this level in life.
- Normally do not accept their mistakes as it requires a generous heart. They love just themselves. They just know to take things and not give things.
- Always try to project them as a victim. Will play emotional games if you decide to break the relationship.
How to handle Toxic men in work situations and homes?
Change of society we live in or change of job or a change of situation is certainly not the solution to this problem.
There are multiple ways of managing toxic people. However, there are no fixed formulae to be used in a given situation. We need to use them cautiously depending upon the situation.
- Stand up for yourself: As the topmost priority, do accept that you have a toxic person around you. To maintain peace around, we start searching for the weakness in ourselves only. Need to understand here that nobody has a right to insult you or belittle you. Hence, there is a severe need to stand up for yourselves and resist the toxic behavior. Learn to say NO to this toxic nature.
- Focus on your priorities and growth: The intensity of the negativity reduces when you are mentally occupied with your priorities and growth strategies.
- Set up your boundaries and maintain physical and mental distance: Sometimes it's better to take decisions from the brain and not by heart. Do not let the toxic men cross their boundaries. The problem is in their thought process and not yours. Hence, do not let them cross limits and damage your mental peace. Try to maintain a distance from these men. If you can not maintain a physical distance, in case they are very close to you, then try to maintain a mental distance from these men.
- Do not fall prey to provocation: A toxic person would normally use bitter and abusive language to provoke you so that you get angry and react negatively. It is their technique to damage your popularity. Hence, in the event of a debate breathe deep and stay cool. No need to get into a poisonous debate in between.
- Change your mindset and Do not feel guilty: A Toxic man would normally portray as a victim in a debate or a tense situation. They would try putting the entire blame on you so that you start feeling guilty as if you did a blunder. This makes you feel guilty and stressed which in turn leads to anxiety and depression. Hence, stay away from such guilts.
- Accept feedback from Toxic people, but do not consume the negative energy busted out through their criticism: Take feedback ( maybe negative) from the, but also take the energy coming along the feedback. Remember that your senior may be wanting to give you some genuine feedback. But, it can come with criticism or it may come with compassion. It depends on the upbringing and thought process of the person giving feedback. So, take the feedback and throw away the energy of criticism or negativity. But, if you consume this negative energy of criticism, you will feel insulted, disrespected and you will get hurt and will not be able to execute on the feedback as well. Keep in mind that the senior always in criticizing mood is not in the right frame of mind and is mentally ill and hence always throws tantrum.
- Meditate: Meditation is the act of touching your inner-self to be able to live a healthy peaceful life without stress and anxiety. Meditation bestows us with the power to stay with Toxic people, but remain unaffected with their negative energies and behavior. It creates a bridge between you and the almighty that will help you attract positivity, success, and growth in all spheres of life. Hence, do meditate compulsorily, be strong spiritually, and be strong culturally.
- Look out for a solution: Try to ameliorate the situation by finding out the ways and means to improve the situation. There always a blessing in disguise. Consult like-minded friends or relatives to seek a solution to the current situation. Time and experience are the best teachers in life. Be focused on your happiness. Try to extract happiness from within instead of other people's opinions.
Conclusion:
So, here we have to 2 conclusions:
- Life (Toxic men) will always throw googly (criticism, conspiracy): As per the famous monk Shri. Gaur Gopal Das, life is like a cricket match between YOU & THE MIND. The mind will try to throw multiple GOOGLY (In cricket, a googly is a type of deceptive delivery bowled by a right-arm leg-spin bowler. ... A leg-spin bowler bowls in a leg-spin way but it goes in the off-spin direction, which ultimately confuses the batsman and he gets bowled out.) Same way, these toxic people are like googly's in life throwing multiple tantrums at you and we need not get distracted with their surprises. We need to learn correctly in multiple situations.
- Stay Cool when getting sledged: When people do sledging against you in the form of criticism, pulling you down, politicking, conspiring in the game called life, stay cool, and do not let your emotions bust out. There is absolutely no need to react to situations, not in your control. Hence, we always will have a stimulus in our life and it's up to us to decide between stimulus and response, it is our choice. A person wins the game not for what he or she learns in an institute, but it's because of the choices he makes in life.
Please do share your thoughts on dealing with toxic people so that it will help those in stress and living a complicated life on account of these toxic men.
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